“I have issues with people”.
I often think what I would think and do if my good friend “crossed” me. Take that in it’s very broadest application e.g. stole from me, lied to me, spouse took another partner, slandered me, refused to talk to me…think of your own atrocity or disappointment.
My first consideration is, “is it specifically against me, or is it a path that he has a need to follow?”
At this stage let’s drop gender. “He” relates to all, unless specifically identified.
We all have our weaknesses, our thoughts and reasons, and our insecurities. And our preferences!!! It might just be that I might not be the “preferred” one, and / or I have seriously offended.
A continued recurrence, or savage assault, requires action, however, in other instances, I try to “roll with the punch”, and refuse to hold a grudge or continuing attitude of conflict.
A good friend, including your closest relative has his own path to run, and is nowhere near perfect – perhaps the same as you and me.
He has his own life to lead, no matter how close you are, and his insecurities. He has to assess his relationship with you, and how each other react to the myriad of circumstances which occur day-to-day.
I have trouble dealing with them – I guess he might also have concerns.
It is evident in today’s society, that there is a marked lack of respect and integrity.
We are experiencing an unprecedented era of lawlessness and violence, including road rage and general physical assault and abuse.
As I have remarked in previous blogs, this will not be solved by legislation. It is up to us as parents, as community members, and as individuals. Our continued attitude and integrity is everything.
The greatest gift that you can give is to “comprehend” an affront, and process it with due understanding and empathy.
One of my sign-off quotes is:
“Never pass the opportunity to allow someone to feel good about himself.”
It is far better, without patronising, to let the other know that you have absorbed the incident, and have left the door open to resolve any conflict. There is rarely right or wrong.
You both save face, and you for one, can sleep better, and face tomorrow without undue anxiety.
If he is a good friend, you have love. There is nothing more important in this short life.